Our 84th slice of toast - Brie & avocado

Brie, the classic Normandy soft cheese. Delicious. Not a classic avocado companion though, that's for sure. So to keep with our apparent tradition of eating fruit outside of its best edible stage, our avocado was not even close to ripe. It was tough.

So we slaved through the stoned fruit with a blunt spoon and did our best to distribute it over our slices of brie, pre-laid upon our toast slices. The avocado really did need many more days of ripening and I will say that this ruined this slice a little. But hey ho we can't all be winners. But we're damn close.

Our 83rd slice of toast - Nutella & pear

Oh my goodness we were looking forward to this one. Nutella is a bit of a heroic topping around our parts and to chuck a cheeky 1-of-your-5-a-day in there could have been risky, but on the contrary this pear was welcomed with open arms. Pear clearly has to go with hazelnutty chocolate?


Well it did. Sort of. It happened that the pear wasn't particularly close to ripeness, so we had a tough time biting through each slice, despite our wonderful slicing abilities. Check them out. Fortunate, we are now experience enough to expect the UFS, thus biting carefully throughout. A ripe pear would have made this a better experience, but it was still pretty ace.

Our 82nd slice of toast - Apple jam & squeezy cheese

I've discussed squeezy cheese before (see our 77th slice of toast). Apple jam on the other hand - now thats new to me! I wasn't sure to expect. All I could consider was apple sauce and how that tastes ie rather un-jam-like. I found some in Sainsbury's, produces by Mammy Jamias. I hadn't heard of this brand either but I recognised the label and I love the catchy name. Its great.

The jam itself certainly differed from apple sauce. The apples were there, but completely drowned in sugar. Now thats a preserve. With squeezy cheese, this worked incredibly well! The cheese has quite a bland taste, as you would expect from something containing such small amounts of actual cheese. Instead, it seemed to add thickness to the jam and dampens the sweetness in a way I found quite excellent. Grace was a little confused by the cheeses absence, but thinks she enjoyed it! She certainly enjoyed drawing her cheese face, which she was dedicated enough to maintain throughout the consumption process.

Our 81st slice of toast - PB & gherkins

Oh sweet gherkin, you are so very feared among us consumers. Some people love them but these tend to be fairly odd folk. Used regularly by Macdonalds in their burgers and picked out regularly by the customers.

Less the burgers, more the toast. Even the Skippy PB couldn't save this one. It's the gherkins significantly aggressive taste that wards many off and it was this that was its toast downfall. Back to the sweet pickle jar for desperate solo snacking.

Our 80th slice of toast - PB & pickle

Bring out the Branston. Today, we did exactly that, teaming it up with our loyal Skippy PB. Branston is the biggest name in pickle and now has range of products. We went for the original pickle. Keeping it real.

Another sweet and savoury dish - a juxtaposition we have come to love from our toasting fun. This one didn't differ from this an we both enjoyed it very much. And the good thing is, both of these are fairly regular components of your average joe's pantry. Should Joe not have a pantry, it is probably stored in the cupboard. The pickle should be stored in the refrigerator after opening. Have some respect.

Our 79th slice of toast - Wotsits

We went for the finer choice of cheese puff. Cheetos I think are the American version. We all know the English versions often offer an improved performance, particularly in film/television but let's all assume the same works for cheesy puffs.

We crushed these puffy cylinders up all over a toast. If you are silly enough to try this then I urge that you butter your toast first. We did and it was close to being too dry as it was! Oh and we didn't need 2 packs each - that was a waste.

Our 78th slice of toast - Mackerel

Grace was not looking forward to this.  I couldn't believe this.  Actually I could, but I felt like I shouldn't...

Fish is a fantastic way to kick start your metabolism in the morning helping you feel awake and active.  Some people find fish a little too much to handle first thing in the morning but it is certainly worth getting used to.  Mackerel is a quite dark oily fish and it is delicious.  Fresh is of course better, but you can get it in tins without bones and in either springwater, brine, tomato sauce or sunflower oil.  Our local Co-Operative only supplied the tomato sauce option.  They seem to have developed a habit of advertising a whole range of flavours for a product, but only stock 1 of them.  Highly unprofessional.

I love this slice and Grace was pleasantly surprised to find that she actually really enjoyed it too.  We recommend fish on toast for winning at things.

Our 77th slice of toast - Squeezy cheese

Cheese shouldn't really ever be in a tube.  Tube's are for toothpaste and puree's or homemade for making fabulously extensive icing patterns and sculptures on overly priced wedding cakes.  Outside the world of food, they are good for use in toilet rolls or for putting round a cat's torso and watch it struggle to balance.

Primula, amongst other manufacturers, decided the tubed squeezable cheese was a good idea.  So here we were squeezing it on our toast.  At just 51% cheese I didn't expect much in the way of dairy and it didn't deliver much in the way of dairy either.  But it did taste as I expected which isn't all that bad.  So if you know what to expect then all is well but if you are, say, a Parisien hoping for a gourmet treat - think again.  Get yourself down the local respected fromagerie.

Our 76th slice of toast - Cucumber and pineapple

I've never sneezed in to my own mouth.  I'm guessing Grace has as she seems to think that cucumber tastes the same as this.  A bit strange.  I don't mind cucumber, but I don't love it either.  Its like when your mum would give you a bottle of Robinson's fruit squash when you go play ball, because you're a boy, but then you refill it with water which mixes with some fruit juice dregs.  The taste is of a very bland fruit - not particularly nice.  The same for cucumber.  Too much water content.  Works well in a heavily meat oriented sandwich though.

This was a weird combination that neither Grace nor I enjoyed.  The bland cucumber was muscled over by the heavily sweet pineapple and I think that the fight between the 2 fruits just upset the toast which in turn refused to taste good either.  Don't do this.

Our 75th slice of toast - PB & raisins

When I considered raisins I had good old Sun-Maid in mind.  Those little red and yellow boxes with the brunette raisin picking lass on the front made their way in to so many of our school lunch boxes.  Such exciting times.  But this didn't happen.  Our local Co-Operative did not supply these nostalgic dried fruits.  Instead, they supplied Whitworth's raisins.  This brand is actually not a relation of Woolworth's that managed to dodge bankruptcy but has instead been producing cooking, baking and snacking products since 1886.  But it wasn't the brand name that grabbed my attention, but the word preceding raisins - 'juicy'.  Now i'm quite sure that if you dry a grape, you achieve yourself a raisin.  So to have a juicy raisin, you would surely have a grape?  Well not here and I was looking forward to seeing just how juicy they were.

The bread went in.  The toast came out.  The PB (Skippy of course) went on.  The raisins went on.  The bite closed, the chewing began and BY JOVE THEY WERE JUICY.  I'm not sure how they did it, but they did it well.  And it even went well with the PB.  Sun-Maid are struggling against this one.

Our 74th slice of toast - Syrup butter

We have previously had maple syrup alone on buttered toast.  So between the 2, no there are no new ingredients.  And for that I am not sorry.  How crazy do you expect us to be?  We are doing our best.

For this, the butter and maple syrup was whipped together before spreading as one.  Now this may be hard to believe but this was quite different to maple syrup on buttered toast.  Let me tell you about it.  With plain maple syrup, you taste the full strength of its super sweetness and feel that syrupy texture directly on the tongue.  With syrup butter though, the mixture soaks mostly in to the toast as butter does and the syrupy texture is removed.  There is also no super sweet kick but instead has a significant but not overwhelming taste of maple lingering throughout the slice.  I have to say I preferred this.  So YEAH.

Our 73rd slice of toast - Cream cheese & jalapenos

Unfortunately, standard English supermarkets don't tend to sell fresh jalapeno peppers. This is a shame as they are a fantastic breed. Often regarded as hot, they aren't often particularly so and make a great topping on a spicy pizza or in burritos. So due to the lack of fresh availability, they tend to be purchased in a jar by companies specialising in burrito 'kits', such as Old El Paso and Discovery. We went for discovery as this was the only choice available in our local Co-Operative.

Those with either a rational or irrational fear of spicy foods should definitely try this slice.  Yes it has a  little kick but we loaded on the seeds and the cream cheese acted as a successful spice dampener.  Grace originally picked many of the seeds out but soon realised this wasn't necessary.  These jalapenos have a great taste to them so don't be a pussy and allow that 'hot' label throw you off!  We're no pussies so don't you be.

Our 72nd slice of toast - Melted camembert

Camembert is a classic French cheese, originating in the Normandy region of the north. As a child I hated the soft creamy cheeses such as this and Brie. This didn't change when theme parks decided to start classing me as an adult for higher ticket prices either. Since, however, society pinned me as an Adult and demanded that I pay them each month for health care and pretty parks I have developed a love for these dairy produces.

Camembert makes for a great baked cheese especially when smeared on fresh bread with baked garlic gloves. Very French I know but who can deny them their culinary expertise? We didn't have baked garlic though. Our bread wasn't fresh either. In fact it was far from fresh and toasted, plus we didn't have an oven so we placed the cheese atop the toast and microwaved each slice to our desired level of melt. Grace at first thought it was under-melted, but I assured her that it would spread so very well once she pierced the skin it tends to form so readily. She was pleased. It was delicious. Tres bon.

Our 71st slice of toast - PB & maple syrup

Hello United States of America! Out trusty Skippy peanut butter teams up with the all-american maple syrup for a true western delight. And a delight it certainly was. We recommended it.

The shortest blog ever? It speaks for itself.

Our 70th slice of toast - Brown sugar

Brown sugar is a common term associated with interracial sex. It is also a Rolling Stones song, which lyrically touches on the aforementioned meaning. Less known is a sucrose product with the same name, regularly taking a back seat to white sugar in one's hot beverage.

On toast, the sugar adds a grainy, crunchy texture and of course makes the slice much sweeter. Neither of us had a supply of brown sugar so we got some small packets from our canteen, aimed at those wanting to put it in their beverages. This is often performed by those who drink tea/coffee because: it gets offered to them and they don't want to be rude and turn it down; everyone else drinks it and they want to fit in; it's cool. There are also a select few that actually like it sweet and either aren't aware of its cancer risk or don't care much for it. I diverse... it's nice on toast and the world would be a woeful place without cake, for which sugar is very much required.

Our 69th slice of toast - Cranberry sauce

I've been a lazy bean of late. It must have been over 2 weeks ago now that we had cranberry sauce on toast and i've only just gotten round to writing about it.

I find cranberry sauce an odd existence as it seems to be very much like a jam, but finds itself classed as a sauce. I've not looked in to it so i'll let it fly, but I would be intrigued to find cranberry jam. Perhaps Ocean Spray don't like jam? I'll let them off as they sure make the finest cranberry sauce.

As a toast topping, it is delicious. You probably don't need me telling you that the sauce is quite sweet as we've all had it with our turkey for Sunday roast (or any other roast). Turkey has a tendency to become quite dry without special care and attention so really it requires an excellent sauce to make up for that, for which Ocean Spray cranberry sauce doesn't disappoint. We didn't have turkey on the toast though. That'd would have been awesome.